Never Be Forgotten
by Culurien Malinalda
Summary: "You must be Lee… Yeah." They both laughed a bit awkwardly. Shaking hands as if it was the first time they had ever met. As his all too blue eyes met hers, unwanted memories floated through her mind. Was it possible he did not remember her? Did not remember that night? The thought both stung and relieved her. Kara T., Lee A. and Zak A. pre miniseries, canon based.
1. Prologue

**Never be forgotten**

* * *

**Summary:** "You must be Lee… Yeah." They both laughed a bit awkwardly. Shaking hands as if it was the first time they had ever met. As his all too blue eyes met hers, unwanted memories floated through her mind. Was it possible he did not remember her? Did not remember that night? The thought both stung and relieved her. Kara T., Lee A. and Zak A. pre miniseries, canon based.

**Disclaimer:** All is built on the fabulous work of Ronald D. Moore. The dialog in this chapter is taken from Battlestar Galactica season 4, episode 19 Daybreak.

**A/N:** I want to give a huge thanks to my beta **total-whovian**. You make it possible for me to publish this story!  
Hope you all will enjoy it. I would really like to hear your comments, good and bad, constructive criticism makes us better writers.

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

**Caprica: Delphi: Kara's apartment - ****3 years, 2 months and 17 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

Kara cursed as the doorbell rang.

"Oh, frak me. He's early." She sighed to herself, giving the food one last stir before turning away from the simmering pots on the oven.

"Just a second," she screamed as she walked towards the steps leading up to the main door. "Coming!"

She opened the door to find Lee Adama with a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hands. Even though she was the prepared, the sight of him felt like a punch to her stomach. As his all too blue eyes settled on her, memories from that night almost a year ago floated through her mind. She could almost feel his hot skin against her own. His arm pushing her down into the soft bed and his wet lips moving with hers.

She slightly shook her head to clear the intruding images, before they could make her all hot and bothered.

Lee looked utterly dumbfounded, making a wide smile spread across her face. Either he had not suspected to see her on the other side of the door, or he was desperately trying to remember where the frak he had seen her before. Was it possible he did not remember her? Did not remember that night? The thought both stung and relieved her.

"Hi, I'm Lee."

"You must be Lee… Yeah." They said almost at the same time, both laughing a bit awkwardly while shaking hands as if it was the first time they had ever met. _Maybe it is to him_, Kara thought to herself with growing unease. Maybe this cozy dinner date with her boyfriend's brother was not such a good idea after all. A brother, which she'd even hocked up with once, but never had had the guts to tell her boyfriend about. _Too late to back down now, Kara._

"I'm sorry. I'm Kara. Come on in." She said waving her hand and stepping aside to let him pass. If he did remember her, he seemed set on not acknowledging it. In that case – two could play at that game, she thought to herself with a smile.

"That's very nice. You didn't have to do that." She nodded towards the flowers in his hands. He looked at them like he was surprised to find himself holding a bouquet. "I'll take those and put them in some water." Taking them out of his hand. She knew she was rambling, but she couldn't stop it. She needed to get some distance, and clear her head. Using the flowers as an excuse, she hastily walked down the stairs to the apartment, leaving him to follow. "Zak!" She shouted wishing her boyfriend would hurry up and help her out of the situation.

"Nice place." She heard Lee's voice behind her, and dared a quick look over her shoulder to see if he was following. He was, all the while looking around the small apartment, taking in his surroundings.

"It's a rattrap, but the rent's cheap." She answered, making her way towards the sink with the flowers.

"No, it's -It's... got real charm." He was struggling to find the right words.

"And you're a terrible liar. We should play cards." She turned towards him and smiled.

"I hold my own." He murmured, almost more to himself than to her.

"I'm sure you do." She murmured back, before again raising her voice to call out Zak. To her relief this time he did make his appearance stepping out from their shared bedroom.

"You just get uglier every day." Zak said with a big smile directed towards his older brother. They hug as Kara watched them out of the corner of her eyes while she arranged the flowers.

She could see the love they had for each other. Zak was looking at Lee with a mix of admiration, love and mischief that made Kara's heart clench. She had made the right decision not to tell Zak of her and Lee. No, there was no her and Lee. And if Lee did not remember anything about their previous meeting, she should certainly not be the one to bring it up. She would not get in the middle of the two brothers love for one another.

"I see you've met my better half, and this one's mine." Zak said, as an echo of her own thoughts. She looked sharply at him wondering if she had given any of her thoughts away. Sometimes it's unnerving how easy Zak could read her. But Zak smiled his big goofy smile that she loved, and was just goofing around with his big brother. "Keep your hands off." He said with a pretend warning in his voice.

"And a girlfriend stealer for a brother. Nice!" Kara smiled, making sure not to look at Lee while she said it.

"I never stole his girlfriend." Lee tried weakly to protest, and Kara thought she could her him whisper to Zak "I really hate you." Which Zak took in stride.

"Really bad liar right here." Zak laughed, pointing at Lee.

"Yeah, no, we figured that out already." Kara murmured. Such a bad liar that he couldn't be faking not remembering her if he did. _He really does not remember_, Kara thought to herself.

"Zak, get the drinks." She said, walking past Lee to kiss Zak on the mouth. She let her lips linger only one second longer to absorb the love she had for this man. To remember what she had now. To push the thought of Lee kissing her out of her mind. She would not think about it again she promised herself. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Yes, sir." Zak smiled fondly at her.


	2. Chapter 1

**Never Be Forgotten**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **All is built on the fabulous work of Ronald D. Moore.

**A/N:** I want to give a huge thanks to my beta **total-whovian**.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

**Caprica: Delphi: Colonial Fleet Academy – 4 years, 2 months and 24 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

Kara "Starbuck" Thrace sat in the very back row of the auditorium. The chair was tipping dangerously on its hind legs and her feet were slung up on the desk in front of her. Her short blond hair was falling down her forehead towards her eyes that were covered by her usual pair of sunglasses.

It wasn't an unusual sight for the other cadets crowding into the room. Starbuck, as most of the guys called her, was always first to the lessens, always sat in the back row and always pissed off the lecturer.

The room was slowly filling up. The sound of different voices echoed throughout the room. Kara nodded in greeting to most of the students filing in, grinning widely whenever someone shouted over to her, but the seat next to her remained empty.

A collective moan filled the room as a white haired, small man entered the room – precisely on time. Professor Bier was known for his tedious lectures on historical flight manoeuvres and their origins. Even Kara had stopped nagging the old professor, not being invested enough to care. But Professor Bier did not seem to mind. He walked to the front desk and started working through the large pile of papers he brought with him.

"Cadet Thrace, please take off the sunglasses and remove your feet from the table." He said without looking up. Every pair of eyes immediately fell on the blond at the back of the room.

Lazily Kara removed the glasses, putting them in the front pocket of her green cadet jacket. The feet, on the other hand, remained planted on top of the desk. She fixed her eyes on Professor Bier challenging him to pick a fight. Professor Bier looked up, meeting her gaze while taking in the situation. The silence was deafening – everyone held their breath waiting anxiously on the outcome.

Professor Bier narrowed his eyes, but did not take the bait. With a sigh, he turned around and instead started his lecture. Everyone slumped back in their seats again, bracing themselves for two hours of tremendous boredom.

Kara picked up a pen and started doodling. Letting her mind wander. Battle manoeuvres normally were a topic to her liking, but this was outdated shit.

She looked up when someone sat down in the chair next to her. A slim girl with long brown hair braided down her back and dark brown eyes slid down into the chair while breathing hard, like she had been running for her life.

"You're late!" Kara stated keeping her voice so low only Magen could hear. Magen Miller was a close friend of Kara. They met the first day at the Academy and loved to hate each other from the very first time they locked eyes. After two years of constant bickering, they'd settled for something more civil.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Starbuck. How come you are never late? I've never met anyone else who is as punctual as you. You must have broken every single rule in this school, but being late." Magen huffed. She was notorious late and could not get over the fact Kara never was.

"You know, everyone has a skill," Kara answered grinning a big goofy smile. Magen just brushed her off.

"Are you coming to the Tower tonight?" Magen asked. "Helo and Papercut will be there, and even Gianne said she would try to take some time away from her medical books." Kara frowned. Gianne was nice, but that was also the problem. She was too nice, but not nice enough to ruin a night out with their small gang.

"Of course! I'll be there."

The two of them fell silent. Professor Bier was still talking non-stop up front, not realising that most of the class was half asleep by now.

"This is such crap," Kara hissed under her breath with a sigh.

When the clock rang, almost two hours later, Kara watched fascinated by how fast a group of drooling empty eyed student could come alive, practically jumping out of their seats to be the first one out into freedom.

"Please, if you can be quiet for just one more moment. I have some important information for you all." Professor Biers voice rose over the chattering to once again silence the room. "I've been told to inform you that Lieutenant Lee Adama, who graduated two years ago, will be holding a guest lecture this Friday. This will be the final lecture before your finals."

An excited murmur erupted throughout the room. Lee Adama was a well-known name to the entire school. Not only was he known for his famous father, who had been a Commander at the Colonial fleet for a decade, but he had also been a star student. Graduating as one of the best in his class, and the one to set most test records – until Starbuck smashed them two years later.

Kara huffed, before rising her hand.

"Yes, cadet Thrace?" Professor Bier looked at her questioningly.

"Is the lecture mandatory?" Kara asked in what she hoped sounded like a bored voice. "Sir." She added after a pause.

"Yes, it is mandatory."

"Frak me!" Kara hissed loud enough for most of the room to hear.

"Excuse me – I don't think I heard you, cadet?" Professor Bier asked.

"I said. Frak. Me" Kara said pronouncing every word with force before she left without another word, slamming the door as she went.

**Caprica: Delphi: The Watchtower Bar **

"What the hell happened to you?" Magen asked as she sat down next to Kara at their usual table at the back of the Tower. Watchtower Bar, or "The Tower" as most of the student called it, was an old pub in the middle of campus. It was loud, smoky and usually full of drunken students wanting to take a time out from their studies. The Academy campus also had one other bar, The Sentinel's, but it was a known fact that you could run into your professors, officers or other authorities there. But not at the Tower, it was strictly for students. It wasn't a formal law, everyone just knew.

Kara had stormed off after the lecture, not bothering to wait for Magen. She had gone straight to the Tower, and was halfway through her first glass before Morgan managed to track her down.

"Nothing. Just let it go!" she hissed at her friend. Magen didn't even lift an eyebrow. She was used to Kara being – well, Kara.

"What do you have against Adama, exactly?" she asked bluntly. "I didn't know you knew him? Have you ever even talked to him?"

"No, I haven't. Thank the Gods. And I don't intend to do so either." It was true. The closest Kara had ever been to Lee Adama was walking past him in the corridors before he graduated, and they had never exchanged one single word. Why should they? She was just a random nugget at that time, and he was the great Apollo.

"So what is it then? What on earth has Adama done to provoke your devoted distaste?" _Can't she just let it go_, Kara though, annoyed at her friends nagging.

"Starbuck just hates him because he is better than her." A familiar voice spoke from behind Kara.

"As a matter of fact, Helo, he is not. I've beaten every test score of his, and you damn well know it," Kara answered in a bored lecturing voice. She turned to face the tall, broad man grinning down at her.

"Yes, but he will have still graduated with more points than you, because he can take orders and you cannot. How many disciplinary notices do you have now, Starbuck?" Helo gave her a one-arm hug, pressing her to his side while ruffling her hair to show he was only joking.

Helo and Kara had hooked up during their second year, and after going out for a couple of weeks they both agreed they were better off as friends. They had been best friends ever since. If there was one person Kara could talk to about – almost – everything, it was Karl Agathon. She pushed him away, trying to look hurt, but knew he would not buy it. He knew her too well.

"Why are you talking about Lee Adama?" Asked Roderick Bates or Papercut as he was often called. Why he ended up with that callsign in the first place, no one seemed to know. A blond, pretty girl, closely followed him – Gianna, Kara realised with a sigh. She wasn't really part of the gang, but Papercut had had a crush on her for too frakking long and had in some way included her. The fact that Gianna did not seemed remotely interested had not put him off yet.

"We are going to have a guest lecture with the great Apollo!" Magen squealed while hugging a resentful Kara.

"Oh! You're so lucky!" sighed Gianne sitting down at the table. "I wish I could meet him. He's so handsome." Kara threw her a disbelieving look. Of course, frakking perfect! Gianne liked men like frakking perfect Adama. She rolled her eyes. _They would be perfect together_, she thought ironically.

"But, seriously Starbuck, what the frak do you have against Adama?" Kara realised Magen was just not going to let it go.

"I just think he's a stuck up, arrogant daddy's boy. I don't see why everyone has to lay down and kiss his feet just because he's handsome and has a famous dad." Kara said with a shrug.

"Come on, Starbuck, that's not fair. You don't even know him! I've heard he's a really nice guy…"

"I don't do nice guys" Kara huffed, cutting Helo off mid-sentence.

Helo continued without pause "And he IS in fact a really good pilot. It's not just that he is Commander Adama's son, you know. That you beat his record doesn't make him a lesser pilot, it just proves you are a frakking good one."

Kara chose not to comment. She knew she wasn't entirely fair to Lee Adama, But no one could be so frakking perfect and that made Kara awfully suspicious. Over the years, her distaste for this man she didn't even know, had grown with every fabulous story she heard.

"Can we please talk about something else other than Adama?" she begged and swallowed the last bit of her drink. "Next round is on me," she announced. Hoping that would put a stop to the conversation.

**Caprica: Delphi:** **Colonial Fleet Academy – 4 years, 2 months and 19 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

Lee Adama stepped out of the raptor that had flown him to The Colonial Fleet Academy and out into the sunny weather. He took a moment absorbing the warmth on his face – closing his eyes in contentment, before hopping down. It had been too long since he had been in the sun, being assigned on a deep space mission for the last few months. One of his previous Professors came walking over, stretching out his hand to greet him. He was a small man with white hair. Professor Bier, wasn't it? Lee wondered to himself. He could recall a flat, monotone voice talking for what felt like forever.

"Welcome, Lieutenant Adama. It's a pleasure to meet you again. We are so glad you took the time to come here today. Please follow me." The old man started talking non- stop, not giving Lee much time to answer as he led them away from the landing bay and towards the main buildings of the compound. It suited Lee fine. He tried to look interested and nod at the right places while his main attention was focused on his surroundings. Even though he hadn't been here for almost two years he found himself feeling at home, like he had just been there only days before. The appearance of the place hadn't changed much, but it was more than that. The sounds, the smell and the feel of the place were also familiar and weirdly comforting.

They stopped outside one of the auditoriums meant for lager lectures. He had spent many hours in this exact room.

"As you know, you will be speaking to this years graduates. They've been really excited. You have made yourself quite a reputation, Lieutenant," Lee only nodded, forcing a smile to his face.

Professor Bier turned to leave him, but suddenly turned his head looking intently at Lee. "And watch out for Starbuck. She's not your greatest fan for some reason, and can be – what is it you young ones says? – a real pain in the ass?" He chuckled darkly and left Lee standing alone, not giving him a chance to respond. Lee took a deep breath before entering the room.

"My name is Lee Adama. I graduated from Colonial Fleet Academy two years ago. Since then I've been assigned to Battlestar Solaria where I've been a viper pilot on a project on nuclear technology. I've been working on how to drop bombs on enemy targets both in space and planet side.

"Nuclear weapons are highly dangerous, as I'm sure you're aware, and hold immense power. If you mess up a manoeuvre, you could end up being blown to pieces yourself. Knowledge and precision are the key when working with nukes. I've been asked to hold this lecture in order to show you what works and what does not out there in real life."

Lee scanned the room full of expectant students while he talked. They were all hanging on his every word. Or almost everyone. His eyes come to a stop on a girl with short blond hair in the first row. In a stark contrast to her follow students, she was frowning, not hiding the fact she was not convinced. _If I can impress her I've done it_, Lee thought to himself. When their eyes locked, she leaned forward on her elbows, challenging him with her intense gaze. He turned to start drawing up the first manoeuvre on the blackboard.

**Caprica: Delphi: The Sentinel's Bar**

Kara knew she was drunk. After the lecture with Lee Adama, she went to The Watchtower with her fellow students. She had mostly been silent; eyes fixed on the drink in her hand, while listening to chatter about the lecture, the manoeuvres and of course the man of the day himself, Lee – frakking Apollo – Adama.

Adama had been good, more than good, he'd been brilliant. If Kara was honest, it had probably been the best lecture of the year. She was pondering over what she now should make of this Apollo guy. She had been so intent on hating him that she had never given him a chance.

Suddenly the worshiping talk had become unbearable. Wobbling along, she'd made it out of the bar. The fresh early night air had felt like a refreshing breath against her face after the stale, smoky air in the bar. She had wondered the compound for a while. Not bothering to care where her feet took her. But the night was still young and she soon had found herself wanting more ambrosia. _No way I'm going back to the Tower_, she thought to herself. Leaving her only one option – the Sentinel's.

It was quitter in the Sentinel's than in the Tower. Less smoke, less filth and less wasted students. Kara had only been here a couple of time, but being who she was, there was no other way to be in a bar than to act like you own the place. She therefore purposefully swaggered up to the bar, sat down in a chair and waived at the bartender to get his attention.

It wasn't until she got her drink and took a mouthful, that she turned her attention to the rest of the room. She turned slowly to take in her surroundings and cursed under her breath. _Frak! What was he doing here?_

Lee Adama was standing across the room, eyes fixed on her with a small smile slowly creeping across his face. He was standing with a small group of people that Kara didn't know other than by sight. Without breaking their eye contact, Lee slowly leaned over to the guy next to him saying something Kara could not hear. He then started walking straight towards her.

Kara broke away from his intense blue-eyed gaze turning away from him and focusing hard on the drink in her hands. What the frak was she going to do? Maybe if she just ignored him he would go away?

"Hi! Starbuck? Isn't it?" Lee dropped down into the chair beside her. It was clear he too had been drinking quite a bit. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, and he had a slight slur to his voice.

Kara glanced up at him. "I bet you're aware that's only my call sign, sir?" She asked cocking her head to one side, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes, I'm aware," he answered. He reached out his hand for her to take. Kara looked down at his out stretch hand wondering if she should take it or not. Lee didn't move, just kept his arm out for her to take while smiling brightly at her.

Hesitantly she reached out her own hand in greeting. His hand was warm and he shook her hand firmly keeping a hold of her hand a few seconds longer than necessary. "Lieutenant Lee – Apollo – Adama" he said, as if she did not know damned well who he was.

"Cadet Thrace, sir," she answered, not giving out her first name intentionally, and he did not ask.

"I've heard you have busted all my records," he said. There was no trace of any hard feelings in his voice, which puzzled Kara. Most high preforming student tended to be on the more competitive side, and often went sour when beaten, but Lee did not seem to be. Quite the opposite – he seemed intrigued by her and even a bit admiring.

"You may have heard right, Lieutenant Adama, sir," she said, purposely keeping the strict military formalities. During the years, she had perfected speaking out of turn in the most formally correct way, making it hard for her superior officers to actually pin something on her. The smile on Lee's face faltered for the first time.

"Please, call me Lee or Apollo. We're off duty, I just want to talk, no need for the formalities."

"You're the boss, so if that's what you want…" Kara leaned a bit closer watching him intently "…Apollo."

"Fine," Lee did not back down, but met her stare with equal intensity. Kara held his gaze firmly, not wanting to be the one to back down first. A smirk crossed her face when eventually Lee was the one to look away. He turned as to wave at the bartender for a new round, trying to hide his failed attempt to stare her down. Kara smirked even wider.

"So, I bet you have big plans after graduation with such good marks?" He asked nonchalantly while handing her another glass of ambrosia.

"I've gotten a post on the Battlestar Triton." Kara was surprised of the words coming out of her mouth. Not because they were not true, but because she had not told anyone yet. She had gotten the call back only days before, and had not yet gotten it into her head she had actually received the post. Lee nodded impressed.

"Commander James Jonasson? Right? I've heard he is a hard man to impress. Congratulations."

"Commander Jonasson, yes. I've only meet him once. Couldn't have messed up that bad apparently." Kara laughed.

"No, you certainly couldn't have!" Lee agreed. "When do you leave for Triton?"

"At the start of September. I just have to pass final exams." Kara said with a shrug. She wasn't all that worried about it.

"You will! Your parents must be proud!" A sharp pain shot through Kara at his well-meant words, and she was trying her best to put up her best Triad face to hide her feelings, but the look in Lee's eyes told her he had noticed.

"No, I doubt that. My father left many years ago, and I haven't heard from him since. My mother thinks I'm the biggest disappointment of her life." She tried to brush it off with a broad smile and a shrug. _Why was she even telling him this? _

Lee looked at her with an inquisitive facial expression for a few seconds before answering. "My dad and I… We… We have had our ups and downs, but the day I got my wings…" he drifted off eyes getting glossy like he was looking at something far away. "Give her a chance, Starbuck. She should be proud of you!"

Kara wrinkled her nose in scepticism. Lee saw it – he reached out and took her hand squeezing it gently "Think about it. I have never seen my dad so proud before. At least give her the opportunity to be proud of you." He let go of her hand, leaning back in his seat. "So I bet you are ranked top five this year?" he asked before she could answer, switching the subject away from parenteral issues.

Kara laughed; glad Lee had given her the opportunity to not talk any more about her mother. "So are you clueless, or are you just trying to be nice?" Lee looked bewildered. "I take it that you don't know then. I thought that when you had heard about me beating your ass in simulation, you had also heard I'm as far from beating your perfect reputation as you can get. I have too many disciplinary notices to make top five. So, no, I'm not going to beat your graduation score even though I AM a better pilot."

"Oh, Now I remember someone DID mention you could be a bit cocky," Lee bit back with a grin. "No offense."

"Ouch! You are hurting my feelings," Kara smiled back. He was so easy to talk to. She felt oddly at ease in his presence, and she was not normally friendly with new people. A comfortable silent fell between them. Kara took another sip of her drink, feeling how the alcohol mad her head dizzy. She wondered vaguely how much they would remember of this the next day with all the alcohol involved.

"It was good..." said Kara after they both had gotten new drinks. Lee looked at her puzzled, clearly no idea what she was talking about. She sighed, not happy at having to spell it out. "The lecture – it was good."

Lee could not suppress the huge grin that her words caused. "And I was under the impression you weren't my biggest fan?"

"What?" asked Kara. "Who gave you that impression?"

"Professor Bier told me."

"Frakking Bier." Kara cursed.

"So you are saying it isn't true?" Lee was resting his arm on the bar leaning against it. His clear blue eyes were sparkling with mischief. He was so close Kara could feel the warmth from his breath on her face.

"I…" She drifted off, not really knowing what to say. _Get a grip Kara_, she told herself. She could not let any man unravel her like this, and surely not Lee Adama. She never got tongue tied, but while looking into those too bright blue eyes and the wide smile she could not come up with a proper answer. She tried to shake her head to think clearer.

"I… I have to…" she clumsily stumbled to her feet, not really knowing what she was trying to accomplish. She was suddenly struck with the urgency to get away from the situation. Get away from Lee. As she turned towards Lee her unsteady feet got stuck in the chair legs making her fall forward and straight into him.

Kara could feel his hard chest pressing against her own and his warm breath on her face. It was as if time went painfully slow. She could hear every heartbeat thundering like a drum drowning out all other sounds as she slowly lifted her eyes to look up at him. They were so close their noses were almost touching, and both had frozen – neither of them moving a muscle.

Their eyes met and Kara could see how his eyes became hooded, darkening slightly. He was no longer smiling; his carefree demeanor blown away and an electric anticipation shot between them.

Neither of them knew who made the first move, but suddenly their lips collided in a fiery kiss. Lips, tongues and teeth clashing together in a wild dance - fighting for dominance. Lee wrapped his arms around her back, drawing her even closer as she tangled her hands into the soft hair at the back of his head. Kara pulled away slightly, gasping for air and Lee used the opportunity to trail hot open mouthed kisses down her jaw line.

"Wanna get out of here?" he asked huskily against her neck, making her shiver. She nodded in agreement, and let Lee lead her by the hand out of the bar.

_Frak! Frak! Frak!_ She thought. This was absolutely not going as planned.


	3. Chapter 2

**Never Be Forgotten  
**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **All is built on the fabulous work of Ronald D. More. Some of the dialog in this chapter is taken from Battlestar Galactica season 3, episode 17, Maelstrom.

**A/N:** Thank you so much to my wonderful beta **total-whovian.**

* * *

****Chapter 2****

* * *

**Caprica: Delphi: Colonial Fleet Academy - 4 years, 2 months and 18 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

Kara groggily tried to open her eyes against the bright morning light. She was disoriented and her head hurt like hell. She tried to block out the intruding beam of sunlight catching her eyes with her hand. This wasn't right. She did not get morning light through her windows. Her apartment was facing north for frak sake.

She tried to think, but her head hurt so badly and her memories was so blurry. Carefully she started to shift herself to the edge of the bed only to find that she was stuck. Something heavy held her down, keeping her from getting up.

She looked to the side only to find herself nose to nose with the sleeping form of Lee Adama.

_Frak!_ She thought as suddenly images of last night started to fly through her head like a movie on fast forward. Meeting Apollo in the pub, talking in the bar, the heated kiss. Frak!

_Lee pushed the door shut with his foot as he turned his attention towards Kara. Pushing her up against the wall in the hallway, kissing her feverishly. Kara tore at the bottom of his military blues, wanting to feel his hot skin. _

_They kicked of their shoes as Lee backed her towards a door that happened to lead to a small bedroom. All the while he was kissing her desperately and she moaned against his mouth making him smile slyly. _

_The clothes were unceremoniously ripped away to expose naked skin. Kara could not get enough of the feel of his smooth skin against her own. He intoxicated her. His touch, his smell. She whispered his name, begging him to touch her, and he gladly obeyed. _

Kara tried not to dwell on the images overwhelming her mind. She pushed them to the back of her head. She had to deal with that later… _Or never_, she thought to herself.

She carefully started to lift Lee's arm away. Praying that he would not wake. She froze when he suddenly let out a long breath and rolled over – but he then settled, eyes still closed and his bare chest still rising and falling with even deep breaths. Kara breathed out slowly through her mouth, not realizing before than that she had been holding her breath.

Slowly she slid her legs over the edge off the bed and let her bare feet touch the cold floor. She started to rise but a sudden nausea forced her back onto the edge of the bed. She sat with her head in her hands, slowly breathing through the nose, trying to calm her raging stomach. _How much did I drink last night?_ She thought to herself. Kara was certainly not a nugget to drinking, and it had been a long time since she felt this sick after a night out. Judging by how much her head hurt, she was surprised she remembered anything from the previous night at all.

She looked back at Lee. Letting her eyes drift over his toned body splayed half naked on the bed. _A frakking mistake. This should not have happened_. But if he had as much to drink as she had, maybe he would not remember and save them both a lot of trouble.

She looked around the room, locating her clothes laying in a heap where Lee had dropped them in his haste to get them off her the night before. Silently she retrieved the clothes and snuck out of the room.

With the door to the bedroom safely closed behind her, she dressed quickly not wanting to stick around for Lee to wake up, only pausing to fight back the vomit at the back off her throat. She was not going to throw up in Lee Adama's flat.

What the frak had she been thinking? Hooking up with Lee Adama of all people. First, he was a senior officer, bad idea in itself. Even though that had happened before. But also, he was a legend. A God if you listened to all the talk. She was so fa out of his league. Why he had bothered with her in the first place was a mystery. Lee was mad for sweet, pretty girls. _Girls like Gienna_, Kara thought bitterly. Not frak-ups like her. A useless, peace of shit who never could do anything right. She had learned that lesson far too many times, starting when she was only a small child. She would never be worthy of a man like Lee. She knew that. Best not to tempt fate.

She blinked against the bright sunlight as she stepped outside. She walked unsteadily towards her own block, glad no one was around to see her walk of shame. She had never felt this way before. It was not the first time she had walked home after spending the night with some random guy. Normally she felt just fine afterward, not bothering to be ashamed. If she had had a good time with a hot guy, what was there to be ashamed of? But now she wished she could hide away and tend to her hang-over in peace.

_Why the frak am I feeling this way? Was it just frakking? Or…_ She pushed the thought aside, not letting her mind wander to whatever she was feeling about having frakked Apollo.

Her head spun and she buckled over at the side of the road retching violently into a bush. Her whole body shook as a new wave of vomit fought its way up her throat. She heaved for air, trying to steady herself with her arms on her knees still bending forward. Her throat burned and her legs were weak and shaky.

"Kara?"

_Frak!_ She thought. The last thing she wanted was for someone she knew to find her like this.

"Kara?" The voice sounded again, this time much closer and a hand landed on her shoulder keeping her steady. She looked up to see Karl Agathon looking at her with a mixture of concern and amusement.

"Hey there. A little too much to drink last night, eh?" He asked smiling down at her.

"Frak you, Helo." She replied with a raspy voice.

"I take that as a yes." He replied lightly "I'll get you home." And without further ado he slung his arm around her shoulder guiding her towards her small student flat.

"So what happened to you last night? One moment you were there and the next you were gone. By the look of it, you did not turn in early," he laughed a little at his own joke only getting a small huff in reply.

"So, who was the lucky guy this time?" The question was innocent enough, but made Kara freeze slightly in her step before trying to shrug it off.

"Why do you assume there was a guy?" she asked, peeking up at Helo who did not look convinced. He had noticed her unnatural response even though she had tried to hide it.

"I know you, Starbuck." He replied indicating he knew this was not one of her usual nights out, but not pushing the subject further.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Karl retrieved the key from Kara's hiding place behind a loose rock in the wall and walked her into the small apartment dumping her unceremoniously onto the couch.

Kara slid down until she was half lying, tipping her head back and closing her eyes.

"Frak!" She muttered.

* * *

Lee woke with a jolt. In his hazy state he wondered what had woken him. He turned to the side putting on a bright smile and stretching out his arm to pull the frakking amazing girl at his side against him, only to find the bed empty.

He sat up, looking around.

"Starbuck?" he asked with a sinking feeling in his stomach. As expected no answer came. He struggled to his feet, fighting against the dizziness brought on by too much to drink last night. He threw open the door to the rest of the apartment, hoping against all odds he would find her there leaning against the table with her bright smile and tousled blond hair. But the rest of the flat was just as empty as his bed had been.

"Frak!" he shouted hitting the wall hard with his closed fist.

She had just left. Without a word. A storm of emotion raged within him. He thought there had been something there. She was smart, witty, beautiful and had a force within her that had made him gravitate towards her. He simply could not resist the pull. There had been something there. Something he had not felt before with anyone else. She must have felt it too, hadn't she?

He had known from the moment their eyes locked in the auditorium that this was a girl worth getting to know. When she walked into the Sentinel it was like the Gods has blessed him, and he did not even believe in the damned Gods.

Lee had been pacing back and forth in the small apartment. Was this it? Should he just let it go, try to forget? No, he could not. He could not just let her go without trying to tell her how he felt. He looked at the watch. It was only a little over one hour until his shuttle back to Solaria. He was going back into deep space, and had no idea when he would be planet side next. If he was going to do something, he had to do it now.

He walked into the bedroom tossing on the dissolved clothes from the day before and walked out not bothering to even look in the mirror. He regretted the decision after the third questioning look, he got while walking the short way from his apartment building to the administration building on the compound. He must look like hell. Frak – he felt like it too.

"I want to leave a massage to cadet Thrace." He said as soon as he reached the counter. Hell, he did not even know her first name, he realized suddenly. The older woman just looked at him in a bored manner.

"Hold on one sec," she said while getting to her feet and walking out into the room next door. Lee stood impatiently tapping his feet while studying a picture of a crew of Viper pilots on the wall. It must have been taken some while ago, because all the Vipers in the photo was Mark II. Lee tore his gaze away from the picture and towards the receptionist, who was slowly making her way back to her place at the counter.

"Here, use this code and you can write to Thrace. It will be in her school log. You can use the computer over there if you like." She pointed to a worn old machine in the corner, which he had not noticed before. He quickly took the note the lady handed him and made his way over to the computer.

He punched in the eight-digit number, and the name K. Thrace popped up. For a moment he just stared at the name. K. Thrace. What could the K stand for? Katherina? Kate? Kylie? He hoped he would find out.

**Caprica: Delphi:** **Colonial Fleet Academy – 4 years, 2 months and 2 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

The cheering was so laud it rang in Kara's ears, but she shouted with them. Graduation. She had mad it. She had proven her mother wrong and found something she was really good at. Maybe she could find a way to contribute and not just frak everything up.

The last two weeks had been a blur of late night studying. There were hours spent pondering over tactical challenges in densely packed test rooms, which reeked of sweat and nerves. Multiples simulation tests, and the final flying test. She had known she had nailed it the moment she heard the sound of actual calling her in for landing.

Kara looked out into the crowd of proud family members. Mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. All gathered to watch their loved ones on the greatest day of their lives. But no one was there for her, and it did not really bother her.

She remembered Apollo's words that night: _My dad and I… We… We have had our ups and downs, but the day I got my wings… I have never seen my dad so proud before. Give her a chance, Starbuck. She should be proud of you! _Should she feel sad her mother was not out there among all the other parents?

The day she took the step and moved out from her mother's place, it felt like a weight she didn't even know she was carrying was lifted of her shoulders. And she had not looked back once. It was now nearly three years since she had last seen her mother face to face, even though they had talked a couple of times over the phone each year. But should Kara had given her the chance to be here today? Given her the chance to be proud of her, like Lee had told her?

She was ripped out of her thoughts by an overexcited Magen who threw herself at Kara. They barely kept their balance as Kara caught Helo, who was standing next to her, by the arm, keeping them from tumbling to the ground.

"We made it! We made it!" Magen shouted, making Kara's ears ring.

"Yeah, but please don't make me deaf, making me unfit for duty before it even started. Battlestar Triton, you know," Kara said half laughing, pulling away from her friend's embrace. She had told her friends about Triton a few days after she had told Lee.

"Stop bragging, and let's go to the Tower," Magen said, taking Kara by the arm and starting to walk towards the exit. Kara was the only one that had managed to get an assignment on a Battlestar, and even though the gang full heartedly supported her, they could turn a little sour when Kara brought it up for the tenth time in the same day.

"Aren't you going to meet up with your family?" Kara asked, having seen Megan with her parents and her twelve-year-old brother before the ceremony.

"Nah, they had to get going. And I've already shown Josh the viper, so I've made his day." Magen said with a shrug.

"Same goes for me," Announced Helo with a huge grin. "Let's get moving. Papercut said he would meet us there. Poor sucker has to be here a whole year without use." Helo did not exactly look sorry.

"Oh, he still got Gianne. She also has a year left. He'll live," Kara brushed him off.

She looked at her friends as they walked the short way to the Tower. She did not buy their stories. Morgen's family had come all the way from Canceron. It was not a trip you took every day. She suspected both Helo and Megan had stood up their families to be with her.

**Caprica: Delphi: The Watchtower Bar**

The mood at the Tower was at a high. Laughter filled the dimly light room, and drinks were passed around. Everyone seemed to have a rather good time. Kara was engaged in a loud round of Trident. The people around the bar were taking bets and cheering. Kara had a huge grin on her face, all pretenses forgotten. She knew she was going to win.

"Full color," she triumphantly shouted in glee, throwing her cards on the table while scooping up the pot of cubits. Papercut hung his head in defeat. "One more round? Do you have anything more worth taking?"

Papercut raised his arms in surrender, shaking his head. Kara looked at the others sitting around the table, but none of them seemed eager to lose another round to Starbuck. She was in her element.

"Then I'll leave your sorry asses and find someone else to play with," she stood up which was followed by shouts of disappointment from the small crowd, but she just waved them off and swaggered away. She made her way through the crowded pub looking for Magen or Helo, who she had not seen after they both gave up on Trident a few rounds ago.

She spotted Helo in a corner with a freshmen girl. She was halfway sitting across his lap and their heads were bent close together. They seemed to have eyes only for each other and Kara did not want to interrupt whatever was going on.

Magen was sitting at the bar with a drink in her hand. Kara dropped down in the chair next to her, smiling broadly. Megan did not seemed to notice, her focus on something else entirely. Kara tried to follow her gaze, and found her friend had her eyes set on a tall, dark haired guy sitting at the other side of the bar.

"Do you have your eyes on Frosty? You can do so much better, Hecate!" Magen turned towards Kara. Megan rarely used her callsign outside the cockpit. It was Kara who had given her the name – Hecate - the Goddess of ghosts and magic. It happened after Megan had confessed she strongly believed in witchcraft and thought the spirit of her grandmother, who she believed to be a witch, still haunted her childhood house at Canceron. It was so off character from the tough, foul-mouthed girl Kara had come to know that she had burst out laughing when she found out. She had laughed so hard she had tears pouring from her eyes. Magen had made her swear never to utter a word about it to anyone, but the callsign had stuck.

"Oh?" Magen asked, looking back at Frosty who was looking their way, winking at the two girls.

"I've heard from a very reliable source he's a disaster in bed." Kara said with a sly smile.

"Really!?" Magen rolled her eyes. "I wonder who your source is, Starbuck…" Kara just smiled even wider. "Ok, Frosty is out of the picture. I'll not have your used goods. Speaking of which, you haven't even looked at a guy in weeks. What's up?"

Kara shrugged. "Been busy with studying and exams, you know."

Magen narrowed her eyes, looking skeptical at Kara. "I don't believe you," she stated. "Something happened that night after the Adama lecture."

Kara tried to keep her face neutral, even though the sound of the name made her heart beat a little bit faster. She had desperately tried not to think of a certain blue-eyed officer over the last few weeks. Putting all her waking hours into studying.

Megan took her lack of response as a confirmation. "So something DID happened? Or should I say SOMEONE did happen? Who was he? You have to tell me!"

"Frak it. Nothing happened I said," Kara sighed in resignation.

"Hell something did happened. You slept with a guy, and you, the great Starbuck, devour of men, can't get him out of your head!" Magen stated triumphantly.

"Frak you," Kara said, but could not help the burst of laughter escaping her from the absurdity of Magen's word. How Magen put it, it sounded like she had a crush on Apollo or something. _Like hell I do_, Kara thought to herself.

"Starbuck has a crush!" Magen's singsong tone was almost a perfect response to Kara's own thoughts.

"No, I have not! You are insane," Kara answered darkly.

"Keep telling yourself that, Starbuck! You keep telling yourself that!"

**Caprica: Delphi: Socrata Thrace's apartment - 4 years, 1 months and 1 day**

_This is a bad idea_, Kara thought. She was standing outside the door that belonged to her mother. Socrata had settled in Delphi after Kara left and she retired from duty. Even though they had been living in the same town for the last several years, Kara had not been to this place before. She should not have come; this would only end in disaster.

_Think about it. At least give her the opportunity to be proud of you. _Lee's word came back to her, as they had so many times after their conversation at the Sentinel's.

Kara raised her hand and knocked on the door before she could change her mind.

"It's open," she heard the familiar voice of her mother on the other side of the door. Slowly she opened it, and walked into the smoky room. The room was small, and there were few belongings. Her eyes immediately landed on her mother. Socrata Thrace was sitting at a small table, a letter in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Kara studied her mother – she looked much the same as Kara remembered, only her hair was greyer and her face looked more drawn. _Old and tired_, Kara though as she walked over to the table where her mother was sitting.

"Hello, Mamma." She said, stopping a few steps away, standing straight in her uniform, with her hands on her back.

"So, you really did it. First person in the family to become an officer." Her mother said without greeting her. She stamped her cigarette in the ashtray on the table.

"What is the world coming to?" Kara answered calmly.

"Kara, they tell me that you're the best natural pilot they've ever seen." Her mother stated. A small smile played on her mother's lips, and Kara started to wander if she for the first time maybe had manage to make her mother proud of her. Kara smiled back.

"First time I got in that cockpit, I just felt like I belonged," she confessed.

"All that natural ability, and still you only graduated 16th in your class." Kara's smile faltered at her mother's harsh words. Of course, she was not good enough in her mother's eyes. She never had been, and she never would be. Inwardly she cursed Lee and his stupid advice. _Why the frak had she listened to him?_

"16th out of 117 cadets, mom." Kara said with a small tremble to her voice as she was trying to hold her temper under control.

"Why are you proud of that? You should have been number one." Socrata said, mocking her. "They tell me that you have left a trail of demerits from here to Aerelon. You are undisciplined. You have no respect for authority…"

"It's none of your business anymore." Kara cut off her mother mid-sentence. She was not going to stand here and take that crap form her mother. She made a choice to tear away the bad tumor, that had been her mother from her life three years ago. She had not come back to be scolded. At least not when there was no frakking reason. If her mother were anything like a real mother should be, she would have been proud of her, just like Apollo predicted. But no, not her mother. She found every reason to put her down.

"You have a gift, Kara. I've always known that in my gut. And I am not going to let you piss that away. You're special. Don't you understand?" Socrata looked at her intently.

"No, I'm not." Kara was forcing herself to stay calm. But the words she had heard all her childhood hit her hard. Her mother had always told Kara how frakking special she was, and afterward she had beaten her, locked her in the closet or slammed the door over her hands. What a frakked up way to show someone how special they were.

"Would you let go of that stupid dream of yours?" Kara was starting to lose it. Her voice rose in step with her rising anger. "Look, I am sorry as hell that you never made officer, and all you have to show for a life of dedication is this crappy apartment and that frakking medal on the wall. But I will not make up for it all. I can't."

"Yeah, because you're a quitter." Her mother picked up a pack of cigarette, putting one in her mouth the lit it. "You always have been."

Kara did not answer. She was fighting back tears by now. Whether it was from anger or hurt, she did not know. Did not care. She let her eyes wander the apartment as the silence stretched on. Suddenly her eyes locked on the letter her mother had left on the table in front of her. She could make out the words on the top of the page. _Caprican Colonial Forces Veteran's Hospital. _Kara felt her heart skip a beat.

"You went to an oncologist?" she asked, picking up the letter.

"Hey! Put that down." Her mother jerked upright in the chair reaching out to take the paper away from Kara. "Don't touch that."

Kara did not let her take it back. She roamed the page, realizing as she read how bad it was. She had suspected as soon as she saw the lines at the top that her mother did not go to a doctor before it was really bad. Gastric cancer. Cancer. The word seemed to be ringing in her ears.

"What are you gonna do about this?" She asked quietly.

"Nothing. There's nothing to do. It's metastasised. Game is over."

Now the tears threatening to spill were not from anger. Slowly Kara laid the letter back on the table and sat down beside her mother. She reached out for her mother's hand. She was not looking at Kara, head in her hand.

"I'm sorry, Mamma." Kara said as she laid her hand on her mother's rough one. Socrata jumped away, tearing her hand away as if Kara's touched had hurt her. Kara tried not to let show that the reaction had hurt her.

"I don't want your pity." Her mother almost spat at her.

"You haven't got it." Kara spat back. The anger flaring back to life inside of her.

"You want to feel sorry for someone? Feel sorry for yourself." Her mother said mockingly. "You have to find another way to motivate your ass. I'm not gonna be around to do it.

"Oh, don't tell me you're gonna cry about it now." Socrata added after a pause. _This is it_, Kara thought. _I'm never taking this crap again_. She knew this was going to be a mistake.

"You know what? I don't need this." Kara hissed at her mother in anger. "I'm gonna… I'm gonna walk out that door. And you can look at it every frakking miserable day you have left and know that I am never gonna come back through it again."

And without one last look at her mother she stormed out of the door to the apartment. She could hear her mother calling her name after her, but she did not turn around. She did not stop. She ran.

Frak that old cow. Frak her. But most of all frak Lee and his stupid words of advice.


	4. Chapter 3

**Never Be Forgotten**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **All is built on the fabulous work of Ronald D. Moore.

**A/N:** I want to give a huge thanks to my beta **total-whovian**.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

**Caprica: Delphi: Colonial Fleet Academy - 3 years, 9 months and 20 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

"Pilots call me Starbuck, but you may refer to me as God." Kara stood in front the class of Basic Flight at the Colonial Fleet Academy. Less than half a year ago she was the student, sitting in this exact same room, looking up at the stage. Now the roles have been reversed.

She heard someone snicker, and immediately narrowed her eyes at the poor bastard. She knew she was too young for this position. Too young and too inexperienced. It was only her talent in the cockpit, and Commander Jonasson recommendations, which had guaranteed her the position. But she was not going to let a bunch of nuggets tear her down, and she knew she had to show them who was in command from the very first day.

"What's your name?" she asked in a falsely sweet voice.

«Ethan Grant, sir. God." He burst out laughing again even though he was trying to keep a straight face.

"You think this is funny, Cadet Grant?" Kara still had the same all too sweet voice, smiling down at the nugget as she spoke.

"No, sir." He said between laughter, and some of the other students were also snickering openly. Kara kept her eyes on Grant, and ignored the others for the time being.

"You are dismissed, Cadet Grant." Kara said, still smiling. A look of confusion replaced the grin on Grant's face. "You may leave," Kara informed him. The smile on her face grew even wider as the look of confusion turned into horror on the young man's face.

"You don't mean it? You can't just flunk me!" There was a touch of desperation in his voice now. The room had grown eerily quiet. No one was laughing anymore.

"If you want to be a Viper pilot, and I take it that's the reason most of you are here, you have to pass Basic Flight. And to pass Basic Flight, I have to pass you. I don't want snickering idiots in my class." Kara's voice was no longer sweet; it was biting cold and held as much authority as she could muster.

"So either you shut your ugly month and listen to me, or you can leave. That goes for all of you!" Kara looked out over the crowed of around thirty students in front of her. "So, there is door." She pointed at the door, still looking intently from one face to another. She was no longer smiling, and neither was anyone else. "You can leave now, or do what I say! Is that clear?"

No one moved. Grant was cowering in his chair, as if he could disappear if he just got small enough. A few mumbled something in agreement.

"I said. Is. That. Clear?" Kara almost shouted, making some of the students jump in their seats.

"Yes," most of them said, louder this time.

"Yes, what?" Kara boomed.

"Yes, God!" All said as one, and Kara nodded in approval. She moved on without a pause as if nothing had happened.

"So, where was I? Major Maxwell has lectured you these past months; unfortunately, he had some health issues and is no longer fit for duty. You guys are now stuck with me for the rest of the year. I'm going to lecture you, and as I said, I have the final word on who passes at the end of the year." Kara paused and studied a clipboard in her hands, containing the notes from the retired Major. "I see Maxwell has taken you through basic Viper function, DRADIS readings and navigation codes… Seriously haven't you started the Viper simulation program yet?" She looked up from the board looking at the crowd in front of her in disbelief. A few of the nuggets shook their heads.

"Frakking great," Kara cursed under her breath. These nuggets were way behind schedule. "Have any of you nuggets even been in a Viper cockpit?" She asked aloud.

A brown haired boy at the second row raised his hand, but everyone else just stared back at her in silence. Kara cursed inwardly.

"And what's your name, cadet?" She asked the boy.

"Zak Adama, sir." He answered with a grin. _Adama?_ Kara thought, looking at the young man one more time.

"You aren't related to Commander Adama by any chance?" She asked, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

"Yes, he's my father, sir." He said, but he did not seem overly excited about the fact. _Frak, is this kid Lee's brother? _Kara wondered in horror. Just her luck to be assigned to the class of Lee Adama's brother of all people. At least this explained why Zak had been in inside a Viper when no one else in the room had.

"Okay, you just earned yourself first round in simulation first thing tomorrow. I expect you all sharp and ready outside room 378 at 8 am tomorrow morning. It looks like we have some catching up to do. But first I'll check if Major Maxwell got the vital information on how to handle a Viper into your thick skulls."

**Caprica: Delphi: The Watchtower Bar**

"Oh my Gods! There she is! Starbuck!" She heard Helo's booming voice from across the room as soon as she stepped into the Tower. She briefly wondered if she was supposed to be here now that she was not a student any more. But it was the middle of the day, and the bar was nearly empty. She would leave before it got crowded. A pang of sadness stabbed her at the thought that her days at the Tower where at an end.

Kara smiled and made her way over to the table where Papercut and Helo were sitting. Papercut was still a student at the Academy, graduating next summer and she heard Helo had gotten a raptor position for the government department in Delphi. Kara was glad that two of her closest friends were still around when she suddenly found herself back in Delphi.

"I heard you pissed off a senior officer?" Papercut said as he greeted her with a hug. "Rumer has it you refused a direct order and when confronted with it, you beat the poor bastard so bad he got a concussion and had to get ten stitches."

Kara grimaced; the story was so far off it was almost funny. Yes, she had manage to piss of Commander Myron Ruth, and probably denied a direct order or two, but she had not beaten anyone. "You probably should not believe everything you hear, you know!"

"But you did face a court-martial? And were thrown off Triton?" Helo asked.

"Yes and no. That frakker Ruth did initiated a court-martial, but Commander Jonasson got him to drop the charges. But he thought Ruth would kill me, or vice versa, if I did not leave the Triton. He pulled some strings and got me the position as flight instructor here. It's probably for the best. Triton was dull. Only endless CAP's and no fun. I got stuck with all the shit work because the CAG didn't like my guts."

"You lasted three months? That has to be some kind of record!" Helo laughed and Kara threw him a deadly glare.

"Yeah, Yeah. Enough about me. What have you guys been up to? Do you like flying important government assholes from place to place?" Kara laughed as she nudge Helo with the elbow. It was Helo's time to grimace.

Kara was deeply engaged in the conversation with Helo as Papercut suddenly cut her off mid-sentence. "Kara? Do you know these guys? They are staring at you!"

Kara looked up to see a small gang that had gathered at the bar. She hadn't noticed them entering, but now she could see several of them had been in her class earlier that day. She could spot both Grant and Zak Adama amongst them.

"Frak, it's my students." She said. "I think it's time for me to leave."

She was about to stand, but before she could take her leave one of the students extracted himself from the group and confidently walked towards their table.

Zak Adama came to a stop in front of Kara, saluted sharply and then stood at attention.

"God, sir?" He asked still standing at attention. _Oh, this is why I shall not be going to the Tower anymore_, Kara cursed herself. _I'm no longer one of them._

"At ease," she said and Zak visibly relaxed, but kept his stance with his hands on his back. "What is it, Cadet Adama?" she asked. She looked out of the corner of her eye as both Helo and Papercut reacted to the name and threw looks of renewed interest at Zak.

"Permission to speak off record, sir" Zak said, his eyes finding hers. Kara would never have guessed this was Apollo's brother by just looking at him. He was tanner, and his eyes were not clear blue like Lee's. Zak's eyes were light brown and a mix of ease and joy danced in them, and she could not see anything of the calculating intensity that his brother had.

"Permission granted. You may as well sit down." She said nodding towards the empty chair between her and Papercut. Zak threw a fast glance back towards the group of friends he came in with, but sat down and when he faced Kara again a bright smile lit up his face.

"I just wanted you to know I don't want any special treatment because of my father." He said bluntly, taking Kara by surprise. That was not what she expected Zak Adama to come over and say to her.

Kara narrowed her eyes at him. "Done. I would never do that." She said honestly.

Zak smiled. "Yeah, I thought so. You don't seem like the type. But I really didn't want you to believe that I wanted to use my name nor my father's to gain some kind of advantage. I've experienced it too many times how people change when they find out who my father is."

Kara studied him for a moment. She realised that growing up in the shadow of a famous parent must have its disadvantages. She remembered what Lee had said: "My dad and I… We have had our ups and downs." Kara wondered if Lee too had met the same challenges as Zak, being the son of William Adama.

"You won't from me, Zak." She promised, using his first name instead of the Adama-name on purpose.

"Thank you, Starbuck!" Zak said and was about to leave when he seemed to think better of it, turned around and said "And thank you for beating my brother at flying. He needed to be taken down a notch!"

Kara smiled genuinely back at Zak as he waved and walked away to join the others at the bar_. I think I can come to like this Adama_, she thought to herself.

**Caprica Delphi: Local Pyramid court - 3 years, 8 months and 21 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

The next month went by in a blur. Kara was set on making her nuggets ready for half year evaluation, and was pushing both herself and her students hard to make up for the lost progression with Major Maxwell. She found herself enjoying working as a flight instructor far more than she had anticipated when getting the job.

After the first day at the Tower Kara had stuck to the Sentinel's Bar on her free time. She often met Papercut there, and Helo came over whenever he had time off. After the first week, Zak started showing up at the Sentinel's, and suddenly he had become a regular part of Kara's small gang. Sometimes he brought Grant with him. After the first day, where he and Kara got off on a rough start, he'd put all his effort into becoming one of the best pilots in the class. Unlike Zak it seemed like Grant had a talent for flying. Zak on the other hand did not show the interest in flying required for being a good pilot. Kara found herself wondering more than once, why he was even taking basic flight.

Zak was fun to be around. He was easy-going, always making her laugh at his bad jokes and they found a shared interest in Pyramid and guns. They often met up with Papercut and a few of his friends to play Pyramid in the evenings. They soon found out Zak and Kara were by far the best players, and they were therefore always divided onto different teams. Papercut was really bad, and no one wanted him on their team.

It was Thursday and they had been playing at the local stadium, which lay only a couple of yards away from the Academy. Zak had been paired with Papercut and Zoe, who wasn't a bad Pyramid player, but she and Zak combined could not make up for Papercut's utter lack of talent. Kara's team crushed them completely. But Zak took it all with good humour.

"Well played," he said to Kara who was sitting by the side of the court taking off her knee and elbow protections. The two of them were the only ones left, the others had hurried off to study for a test they had the upcoming day. "Did you ever thinking about making it a career?" Zak asked dropping down next to her, stretching out his legs in front of him.

"Yeah, actually I did," Kara answered, looking out on the triangular court with the three goal posts. "I was up for the pros. I'd been signed to one of the big teams, but then I frakked up my knee. It was bad, even after operation I could still not play on that high of a level again."

"I'm sorry about your knee," Zak said. "But I'm also glad."

Kara looked at Zak sceptically, but Zak wasn't looking at her. He was bouncing the small pyramid ball in his hands, his eyes locked at the movement of the ball.

Kara cleared her throat. "Why?"

"Because if you hadn't messed up your knee, you would have been playing with the big guys now. Been a professional. You would probably be dating Anders from C-Bucs or some other great player. You would not have been sitting here with me on a local pyramid court in Delphi. We would never have met."

Kara was silent for a while, taking in his words. She tried to image how that life would have been. She would never have starter Viper training, would never have discovered her skill for flying nor experienced the thrill of it. She would probably never have met Helo, Magen or Papercut. Would never have met the Adama brothers. Never have met Zak.

This time when she looked at Zak he was looking back at her. Now holding the ball still in his hand.

"Probably not." She said at last, holding his gaze with hers. She realised the thought of not getting to know Zak made her stomach knot painfully.

Zak reached out to take her hand, squeezing it gently. "So I'm glad you busted your knee," he said his eyes sparkling up with joy and a big goofy smile spread across his face. Kara loved that smile, and could not help smiling back. She elbowed him in the side, making him double over, and snatched the ball out from his hand. "Hey!" he shouted in protest.

"You deserved it!" Kara laughed keeping the ball just out of his reach. "I'll give it back if you are nice."

"I'm always nice," he pouted.

"Touché," Kara responded, throwing him the ball. They sat in comfortable silence for some time, neither of them in a hurry to leave. They both knew they were walking separate ways when they eventually got up to leave. Zak would be heading back to the Academy and Kara to the apartment she had rented at the east side of the city.

"Kara, will you go on a date with me?" Zak suddenly asked. Kara froze in her spot. She really did like Zak. She liked being around him. Liked how he made her laugh. Liked how he made her feel comfortable. How he allowed her to be just Kara. Few people did. Everyone had so many expectation.

But was it a good idea to date one of her students? But if she really did like Zak, should she let that get in the way of finding out if there was something more between them than just friendship?

As always, Zak did not push her. He sat still as he let her think it through on her own. At the end that was what made Kara make up her mind.

"Yes," she said slowly, peaking up at Zak. "I will go on a date with you Zak Adama."

It wasn't until she had said goodbye to Zak, with promises on a date next Saturday and a long hug, that she realised she hadn't once thought about if it was a good idea to go out with the brother of a certain Lee Adama.

**Caprica: Delphi - 3 years, 8 months and 18 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

Kara and Zak walked side by side through the streets of Delphi. It was dark, the streetlight barely lighting up the road ahead. But it was a Saturday night and they were not the only ones out on the street. People were out, either on the way home or to the next party, mostly in pairs or groups, but they also met people walking alone in the fresh night air. They had just passed the Delphi Museum of the Colonies, and were walking east heading for Kara's apartment. Zak had insisted on following her home, and for once she had accepted the offer instead of refusing on the basis that she was completely capable of getting home safe by herself.

Kara was laughing about a childhood story of how Zak made Lee take the blame of his misdeeds. At the beginning of their time together Kara had been uncomfortable when the topic of Lee Adama had come up. Lee was a part of Zak, he loved his brother, and talked about him often. Kara had come to understand that Zak would not have been the Zak she now knew if it had not been for his big brother. If she wanted to get to know Zak then Lee was a part of the package. It got easier after she realized this and by now she had come to enjoy the small parts of Lee she was shown through his brother. But she had not told Zak about the night she met Lee at the Sentinel's Bar, and she had no plan to do so either.

She felt a bit giddy, a feeling she was not used to. They had been to one of the fancier restaurants in Delphi, and the evening had been what she suspected a perfect date would be like, not having much to compare it with. She was not a dater.

Suddenly she felt Zak's hand brush up against her own. Her first reaction was to tear her hand away, but she willed herself to keep still and let him take her hand into his. A prickling sensation shot up through her arm, making her feel both exhilarated and terrified.

Her usual response when a situation became personally uncomfortable was fight or flight. She knew that, and this was the point Kara usually turned around and ran for her life. She was fighting back the urge to flee. It felt like something was pressing hard on her chest making it harder to breath. _Maybe this was a bad idea after all?_ she started to panic.

Zak must have sensed her unease, because he stopped and turned towards her. Catching her eyes, not letting her look away. Kara's green scared eyes met Zak's calm light brown ones. It suddenly became a little bit easier to breathe again. Zak's steady presence grounding her. Maybe, she realized, Zak could make it possible for her to stay still for once in her life.

"Permission to speak off record, sir?" Zak asked, mimicking his word from their first ever conversation. Then one in the Tower when he told her not to give him any special treatment because of his dad.

"Permission granted," Kara answered looking up into his warm, steady eyes. Zak had moved in closer without her even noticing and they were now standing close together, their faces only inches apart.

"Kara, you are the most amazing person I've ever met." He stated and the way he said it made her believe him. He wasn't laying it on thick, or overly romantic or anything. It was just plain and simple as if it was just how the world was. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Kara was stunned by how simple it could be said. The sound of her mother's nagging voice in the back of her head got louder, telling her she was not worthy of love, but she fought it back. She wanted so desperately to believe Zak over her mother in this. Instead of listening to the toxic voice, she tried to focus on her own feelings for the young man in front of her. Yes, she realised, she was falling for him. But she also realised she was not ready to say it back to him. At least not yet. So instead she showed him some of the many emotion raging inside her by closing the last remaining distance between them and pressing her lips to his.

His lips were warm and comforting and moulded themselves with hers. She felt her heart beating faster and a heat spread through her, filling her whole body with a compassionate warmth. As Zak embraced her in his arms and deepened the kiss, she felt utterly safe and utterly happy as if Zak had wrapped her in a protective cloak of adoration keeping the worries of the world outside at bay. _So, is this how it feels to be loved?_


	5. Chapter 4

**Never Be Forgotten**

* * *

****Disclaimer**: **All is built on the fabulous work of Ronald D. More. Some of the dialog in this chapter is from Battlestar Galactica season 4, episode 19 Daybreak.

****A/N:****I want to give a huge thanks to my beta ****total-whovian**.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

* * *

**Caprica: Caprica City: Caprica University - 3 years, 2 months and 29 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

"Hi, Zak" Lee smiled as he greeted his brother at the other end of the line. It had been too long since they had had the chance to talk. Zak was busy with Basic Flight and Lee was struggling to keep up with the hard work at War Collage. He had quit from the Solaris to start War Collage at the end of September and had now worked his way through eight hard months. He had always been good in school without even trying, but now he too had to really study to keep up with the high expectation. At some level, he liked the challenge.

"Apollo!" He heard Zak's joyful voice. Lee smiled even broader. Gods, how he'd missed his brother and his carefree approach to the world.

"How are things going at the Academy?" Lee asked. "Is Basic Flight meeting your expectations?" Lee knew Zak's heart wasn't into flying, and was curious on how he was handling walking in the footstep of both himself and their father.

"Hey, it's good." Zak said without elaboration further. "But that wasn't why I called. I wanted to invite you over for dinner!" Lee could sense something was up. This was not how their conversations used to evolve.

"Oh, of course. I'll come. What's the occasion?" Lee asked. He knew Zak wasn't the one for formal dinners, so it had to be something special for him to invite Lee over.

"I…" Lee could almost hear how his brother was starting to blush on the other end of the line. "I've met someone!"

"Oh! Gosh, that's great Zak." Lee responded. He was happy for his brother. He'd been a flirt all his life. He'd had a few half serious relationships, but they had all turned out to be rather unhealthy. Lee really hoped Zak had found someone worthy of him this time. "Is it the same girl you talked about last time? Kara, was it? The girl you were wondering about asking out on a date?" He remembered Zak talking about a girl some weeks ago, but at that time he had not paid that much attention thinking it was just a random fling. But maybe not?

"Yeah! Kara! She's amazing, Lee. We've been dating for some weeks, and we decided to make it official. I can't believe it. She's just…." It wasn't often Zak was lost for words, and Lee felt a warm happiness spread through him at the thought of Zak being this happy. "You're going to love her, Lee! I just know it." Lee chuckled at his brother's eagerness.

"As long as she makes you happy, I'm happy!" he said.

"Ah, you're so soft, Apollo." Zak teased. "Why are you still single?"

Lee's smile faltered. He had tried dating a few times over the last months, but every time he could not stop compering his date to a certain hot-shot pilot he had spent one night with. The girl that had never replied to the message he left her. The girl he did not even know the first name of. The girl he simply could not stop thinking about. But he wasn't going to tell any of this to Zak.

"Ah, you know me." He just said, not even knowing what there was to know. But Zak only laughed. "So where did you and Kara meet?" Lee asked instead, to get the conversation away from his own non-existing love life.

"Ehm…" There was a pause before Zak spoke again. "She's… She's my flight instructor."

Lee gaped. That was not what he expected.

"What?" He asked. "How old did you say she was? And is that even legal?"

"Gods, Lee. She's the same age as me." Zak said in a resigned voice.

"But I thought you had to be a senior officer to get that post?" Lee asked in confusion.

"Yeah, but they made an exception. She's a frakking good pilot, so they let it slide. She's a lieutenant."

"Ok, I'm glad we settled that one. For a moment there I imagined you with a middle-aged woman about our mother's age. Not a pretty picture, Zak. Damn you." Lee half laughed as he tried to get the image of Zak with one of their mother's friend out of his mind. "But is that really a good idea never the less? She's your superior."

"We have cleared it with the board." Zak said with a hint of defensiveness in his voice. "And I'm in love with her. If they haven't cleared it, I think I would have dropped out."

Lee was stunned. How long had this been going on? This was far more serious than he first thought.

"You really are serious, aren't you?" He asked carefully.

"Yes, Lee. I really am."

**Caprica: Delphi: Kara's apartment – 3 years, 2 months and 17 days Before Cylon Holocaust**

Lee stood outside apartment 506 and what he thought was Zak's girlfriends flat. There was no name on the door, but he had followed his brother's instruction and the number on the door was the right one. He did not know why, but he suddenly became nervous. He raised his hand and pushed the doorbell before he could do something stupid like turn and leave. _It's just Zak and his new girlfriend_, he told himself.

He heard the bell ring inside the apartment and the sound of a muffled female voice shouting, "Just a second," and after a pause "Coming!"

As the door swung open, he just stood there gaping. _This cannot be frakking happening?_ _Starbuck? _

K. Thrace. It wasn't Katherina or Kate or Kylie. K. Thrace. Kara Thrace. Kara... He had finally found out the name of the girl haunting his mind.

He had not known Starbuck's first name, and Zak had never told him anything other than his new girlfriends' first name. He had never in his wildest dreams come to connect the two in his head. This could simply not be happening. What a creul play of the Gods. He'd been dreaming of this day for nearly a year and here she was, standing right in front of him, and she was just as unattainable as ever – dating his brother. Frak!

A wide smile spread out on Kara's face, probably at his lost expression, making her light up like the sun. And like a moth to the flame he was drawn to her, wanting to reach out and touch her. Just to make sure she was real. She looked just like he remembered. Same bright smile, same short blond hair, same sparkling green eyes. Before he could move out to touch her though, Kara reached out her hand to greet him.

With a sinking feeling he realised it did not seem like she remembered him at all. Seconds after an even more terrible thought came to him; what if she remembered, but did not want to acknowledge it? Maybe she regretted that night and now just wanted to pretend it had never happened? She had left him without a word the next day, and she had never replied to the message he had left for her even though he had made sure to leave a way to contact him if she wanted to. Apparently, she had not. Maybe it was best if he too just acted as if it had never happened.

"Hi, I'm Lee."

"You must be Lee… Yeah." They said almost at the same time, both laughing a bit awkwardly while shaking hands as if it was the first time they had ever met. _Maybe it is to her_, Lee thought to himself. Feeling his heart drop like a stone in his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm Kara. Come on in." Kara said stepping aside to let him pass. As he stepped forward, she reached for the flowers in his hand. He looked down on them as if they just had materialised out of thin air. "That's very nice. You didn't have to do that. I'll take those and put them in some water." She took the flowers and walked down the stairs before he could say anything in return.

Lee followed her slowly, using the opportunity while Kara was busy with the flowers to study the apartment. When you came in there was only a stairway leading down into an open room that was both a kitchen and living room. The walls were grey concrete with few decorations except a huge wheel-like painting in different colours, which was painted directly on the wall. Lee wondered briefly if it was Kara who had painted it.

"Nice place." Lee said mostly because he felt he had to say something.

"It's a rattrap, but the rent's cheap." Kara brushed him off with a smile.

"No, it's -It's..." He tried to find the right words and landed on something he thought sounded safe "got real charm." It sounded lame, even to his own ears.

"And you're a terrible liar. We should play cards." Kara leaned against the kitchen bench looking at him. _Gods, she's beautiful. _

"I hold my own." He murmured, tearing his eyes away from her, not wanting to ogle at her too openly. He thought he heard her mumbled something that sounded like "I'm sure you do".

Where the frak was Zak? Why could he not just hurry up and get him out of this painful situation? As if she could read his mind, Kara raised her voice and called his brother's name.

"You just get uglier every day." Lee spun around to the sound of Zak's voice coming from behind him. Zak walked towards him; he seemed happy, Lee notice, as they hugged each other.

"I see you've met my better half," Zak said turning his gaze on Kara. Lee must have been blind not to see how Zak viewed her with adoration. "And this one's mine. Keep your hands off." Zak said jokingly without realising the effect the words had on Lee. It felt it like a punch to his gut. If Zak only knew how close he was to the truth. But Zak only smiled, oblivious to his brother's pain.

"And a girlfriend stealer for a brother. Nice!" Kara said smiling while putting the flowers on the already set table. Lee could feel his ears heat up at her words.

"I never stole his girlfriend." He weakly tried to protest and turned towards Zak with a grudging look "I really hate you," he hissed under his breath only earning him a pat on the back from Zak.

"Really bad liar right here." Zak pointed at Lee and laughed. Lee forced a smile, while elbowing Zak in the side.

Kara mumbled something Lee could not make out, before walking past him to Zak. "Zak, get the drinks." She said leaning into Zak and pressing a lingering kiss to his mouth. "Dinner's almost ready." Lee felt a stab of jealousy at the open act of affection. _Get a grip, Lee_, he told himself firmly. _She's your brother's frakking girlfriend_. He had absolutely no claim on this girl. As he watched the two of them, he realised he had to let her go. After cherishing the memory of this girl he had only known as Starbuck for almost a year, he now had to forget it all. He realised this was going to be a frakking long evening.

* * *

"That's sad." Kara laughed. "It's cute, but it's sad."

They were halfway through the dinner, and Lee had spent the last fifteen minutes passionately arguing why democracy was so important and why Kara was undermining both the political system and herself by not voting after she let it slip she had not voted in the last election. They could not seem to agree. Both too stubborn and too set in their own believes to change their opinion.

Zak had excused himself to go to the head shortly after Kara, unknowingly, had started the discussion, probably knowing his brother well enough to know where it was heading. But it seemed Zak finally had come to the conclusion that he could not lock himself away the whole evening, and had just entered the room again bringing with him a new bottle of wine.

"Let me guess, he's going on about voting and its importance to a democratic way of life again." Zak stated more than asked as he found his place at the table next to Kara.

"So, you were listening." Lee gloated while pointing at Zak, who just shook his head in disbelief.

Kara leaned into her boyfriend. "You didn't tell me that your brother's an idealistic dreamer," she said teasingly. To be honest, she had loved the discussion with Lee. He was so unlike his calm, good-natured brother. He was so fiercely engaged in what he considered right, and it was way too easy to push his buttons working him into an intense argument. He was so passionate about what he believed in and Kara found that extremely fascinating.

"Dreamer?" Lee asked in disbelief, Kara made a sound of agreement lifting her eyebrows at him.

"The sad truth is, he's not." Zak told Kara with a knowingly smirk on his face. "Beneath that romantic exterior lies the heart of a true cynic."

"Oh really?" Lee was looking stunned at his brother, like he could not believe what he was saying. The look on Lee's face made Kara laugh, making Lee turn to her. Looking pointing at her he told her, "This is going to be fascinating!"

"Yeah, it's one of the many, many, many reasons that he and Dad aren't on speaking terms anymore." Announced Zak. Kara's gaze drifted from the one brother to the other. She had more than once spoken to Zak about his relationship with his dad. It was strained at best, but at least they were on speaking terms; even though they weren't speaking often. That was also one of the main issues, Kara had learned. William Adama had, from when his sons were only small children, been gone for months at a time, leaving them with a mom that tended to drink too much. The Commander had been a distant and absent parent, which Zak had used all his strength to please and impress. Still he desperately wanted his dad to notice and appreciate him. Kara suspected that was one of the main reasons Zak was taking Basic Flight, for it was certainly not because he had the heart for it. Lee's relationship with their dad she knew almost nothing about, only what Lee had told her himself.

"Oh, come on." Lee sighed in resignation. It was clearly not a topic he wanted to have with his brother's girlfriend.

"Family angst and drama. I love it. Come on, boys, let's open up some old wounds." Kara said, looking to Lee with a sly grin.

"No, let's not." Stated Lee firmly, a hint of desperation in his voice, but Zak did not listen.

"Dad believes in the system, believes in the uniform, believes in something greater than himself." He said, but was interrupted by Lee who could not hold his tongue.

"Correction. Dad believes in himself, his uniform, his system, his way of life, and if you're not with him in that tiny little bubble, then you might as well not exist." Lee said with disgust.

"If you hate him so much, why'd you follow in his footsteps?" Asked Zak.

"Oh! Touché." Kara exclaimed, raising her glass as if doing a toast before taking a sip.

There was a pause as Lee looked at Zak with a raised eyebrow. He took a bite of the food and chewed it slowly. All the while watching his younger brother intently.

"Service gave me four years of college. I gave the service four years in return. Simple as that." He announced at last.

"See?" Zak shouted in triumph. "A cynic. Right through to that big empty space that is used to hold his heart." Lee just shook his head, brushing it off with shrug and a sigh.

Kara looked to Zak. "Honey," She said laying a hand on his knee, patting it gently. "I think I'm starting to like your brother." She peaked at Lee as she said it, trying to judge his reaction. He had, up until now, not shown any sign of recognition beyond meeting her today. Lee looked from Zak to Kara and then back again, he looked a little bothered by her words, but other than that, it was hard to read his expression.

She watched as he franticly grabbed his wine glass and took a huge gulp. He mimicked his action, reaching for her own glass. She was not sure if she looked forward to the rest of the night or dreaded it, but she certainly need more alcohol to get through it.

TBC


End file.
